“
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." — Audre Lorde
If you’ve noticed a silence from this inbox since October, you aren’t imagining things.
I didn't intend to disappear, but life happened. And when I say life happened, I mean it came in a tidal wave. Over the last few months, I navigated medical leave to focus on my mental health, broke a lease to escape unsafe housing conditions, moved into a new space, hosted guests for five days, and weathered a winter storm.
Whew. Just typing that out makes me need a nap!
But here is the honest truth: I didn't abandon this newsletter. I was living it.
A Black Lady Stream 🎥
My birthday was January 24th, but after the winter storm iced out my plans, I decided not to just reschedule, but to expand. I'm claiming a "Birthday Year"—I plan to celebrate myself, my survival, and my joy all 2026 long.
To kick this off, I’m looking to my fellow January birthday sister, Michelle Obama. I’m re-watching her documentary "Becoming" on Netflix today. It’s a masterclass in owning your story. If you have a login, I'd love for you to watch with me in spirit today—let’s embrace becoming who we are meant to be.
|
|
|
The Breakthrough
My mission has always been to help Black women heal and grow into a version of themselves they can celebrate. But I realized that to serve you, I had to do that for myself first. I had to stop feeling obligated to tend to everyone else and finally tend to me.
During this time away, my therapist pointed out something that stopped me in my tracks: I have a hard time celebrating myself.
I realized I was waiting for permission to be happy, or waiting for the chaos to settle before I clapped for my own resilience. So, I made a decision. For 2026, I plan to LIVE. I plan to celebrate myself, loudly and without apology.
The Shift
Since making that decision, the shift has been tangible:
- Things have consistently gotten better for me and my son.
- My family, boss, and coworkers have noticed a new light in me.
- My therapist officially "released" me from weekly visits to once a month because of the progress I’ve made!
I am so proud of myself. And I wanted to share this with you not to brag, but to show you what is possible when you prioritize your peace.
✍🏾Journal Prompt
In what areas of your life are you waiting for 'permission' to be happy? What is one hurdle you survived this month that you haven't given yourself credit for yet?
|
|
💪🏾Challenge Yourself
We often save the "good stuff"—the nice perfume, the expensive candle, the favorite outfit—for a special event. Your challenge this week is to use one of those things on a regular random Tuesday.
|
|
💅🏾Affirmation
I do not need to earn my rest, and I do not need to wait to enjoy my life. My joy is necessary, my healing is productive, and I am worthy of celebrating myself exactly as I am right now.
|
What's Next?
This hiatus taught me that I cannot pour from an empty cup. To ensure I’m giving you my best, I will be sending this newsletter once a month moving forward.
The work I am doing on myself is only going to make me a better guide for you. I’m back, I’m healed (and healing), and I’m ready to help you celebrate yourself, too.
Happy January, and here’s to a year of truly LIVING.
With love and restoration,
Ingrid
​
​